All in my head part two...

So I wake up this morning feeling horrible. Last night I had the most vivid dream about being in rehab that I have had since actually being in rehab. It was mainly about my first two weeks in rehab when I felt like shit and things were terrible. It was so real! So real in fact that when I woke up this morning I half expected to be laying on the plastic mattress that was my bed in Highland Ridge. When I woke up my body felt just as it had when I was in rehab. I was having shortness of breaths, couldn't get warm, head pounding, body aching and cold sweats. My therapist in rehab told me that I would occasionally have *using* dreams after rehab. I haven't had a using dream since May of last year. I don't even know if I could even classify this as a using dream since I wasn't actually using any drugs in the dream; I was recovering from them.

*A using dream is a dream about using drugs and when you wake up your mind tricks your body into thinking you have been using drugs and you actually feel the withdrawing symptoms as if you had actually been doing drugs the night before. Crazy I know but using dreams are very real.*

When I have had using dreams the affects usually wear off by the afternoon but it still sucks feeling that way and having to deal with urges to go and get high. As every heroin addict knows once the sickness sets in it's like a knee jerk reaction to go get high. Even though the way you feel after having a using dream is a fraction of the misery you go through withdrawing cold turkey.

Well enough about that, it's all in my head anyways.

It's April and the weather is getting nicer and nicer. Daylight savings was the other night so the days will be longer which is always a good thing.

I need to get back to work.