Statistic on a government chart...

Heroin addiction...
Cocaine addiction...
Crimes commited...
Recovering addict...

I'm just another statistic.

A statistic on some chart in some government office somewhere in the country. One of hundreds of thousands of people. What about the relapse statistic? 9 out of 10 heroin addicts relapse. That's %90! It's been almost two years since being admitted into rehab. Two long years; seems like a lifetime ago. I try not to think about things like that but sometimes when I'm alone thoughts like those nag at me. Why am I different from all the people who are dead, in jail or still on the hunt? Because I'm stronger than them? Hardly. A good support group? Maybe. Because I make good choices in my life? Possibly, but what happens if I make a wrong one? Can I go my entire life and leave what I was behind me?

NA, AA, CA all preach that relapse is part of the recovery process; a cycle. A circle of a recovering addict. The problem I see with that theroy is a circle is never ending. It just keeps going and going. Once you begin the cycle it never ends. It makes me wonder. Am I destined to be just another statistic yet again?

I don't have to be if I don't want to be.