The synchronicity of life...

When it rains it pours. Bad things have a way of happening all at once it seems. I've been feeling like I've been getting sick for the last few days and then it hit me today around 4:00PM. I'm just exhausted. I don't know if it is because I'm sick or if I've managed to wear myself down. Probably both. I left work early today and crashed. I slept from 6PM to around 3AM. I still feel like crap. The last week has just been rough. I haven't been sleeping well. Tossing and turning in my bed or staying up just doing nothing. Lying in my bed thinking too much perhaps. Then I've been going to work and the stress level at work has been way higher than it normally is. And to top it all off I got shafted on my two year review which has me thinking "Why bother?!" with everything. It has finally taken it's toll on me. I'm sure when I get up tomorrow morning I'll drag myself to work just so I won't get further behind than I already am. Even though I know I should take the day off to rest and set right my frame of mind about everything. Knowing my dumb ass I'll still go. Morale at work has hit a skid with pretty much everyone that has worked there over two years. We also know that it doesn't look to be changing anytime soon.

I'm burnt out.

I need a change.

I know that winter has that effect on me especially when spring is right around the corner. I'm ready for spring big time but I think it's more than that.

I miss Angela.

I miss her so much and I just want to be with her. I know that being apart from each other is just temporary and we are doing everything we can so we can be closer and together. Closing the gap is one of my top priorities. Last night Angela called me at around 5:30AM because she had a nightmare and couldn't sleep. It broke my heart that I couldn't be there with her. There is just something about being able to reach out and touch someone. It brings a comfort to you just knowing that someone you love is within arms reach. It makes you feel secure. There isn't a night that goes by where sometime during the night I reach out next to me and wish that Angela was there. It kills me to know that Angela needed me last night and I couldn't be there other than on the phone. I find some comfort in knowing that the miles between us is only temporary.

Well, it's late and I should really get back in bed.

-mbh signing off...