Same old, same old...

I've spent the last hour reading through my old blog entries. I thought back to rehab and the year that followed. I start to only think about how good life was "back then". In all reality life is hard all the time. Why is it that you always think that your life so so much better back in the day? I start to think: "If only I could go back to this time, when times were good." Then what? I'd go back to a time when some things were good but chances are life was just as hard? I won't lie. There are times when I wish I could just go back to rehab. As crazy as that sounds. As much pain and heart ache that I endured in rehab I sometimes want to go back. Safe from the world and everything in it. Surrounded by people going through the same things as me. Surrounded by positive energy.

I don't think I'm a very happy person. When you get right down to it, I think I should be happier, but I'm not. No matter what I do in my life I always feel like I'm standing in the same spot. No matter how hard I run, no matter how slow I walk. I always end up in the same place. It's extremely frustrating. Maybe it's all in my head.

I miss Angela. I miss the way that she makes me feel when she is around.

-mbh signing off...