Everyday I die...

What a crappy day today has been. I can't believe it's ONLY five in the evening. It's been a long last seven days. An eternity. I figured the weekend would be the start of the beginning to feel better. So I was wrong... In about 14 hours I have to go to work. Someone put a bullet in my brain. Someone please sock me in the jaw as hard as you can. Unconciousness would be a relief at this point. My room is a mess, I am a mess! I was staring at myself in the mirror today. I seriously look like I've been drug under a car for 20 miles. I've seen me look this way before, almost three years ago. I tell myself to suck it up and stop being a wuss. My skin burns and my eyes feel like two hard-boiled eggs sunk in their sockets. God I'm pathetic.
I went for a drive which was calming of sorts. I drove out to West Mountain like I used to so many years ago. Nothing has changed out there. I took the long way there around the south side of the lake. It was cold outside but the cool air felt good on my burning flesh. I'm so sick of this.
I don't really feel like writing.

-mbh signing off...